To unsubscribe from the Today's Coach ezine, address an email to 

To change your email address for this ezine, first unsubscribe from your old address, then subscribe by addressing an email 
from your new address to It's entirely automated.

Today's Coach | 39,420 subscribers | CoachVille | SOC | Archives | Advertising

  • Part 3: Evolving as a Coach - Causing Problems 

  • Revealing the Hidden Truth = BIG Problems for your Client.

  • The Million Dollar Coach Program

sponsored by:


View this issue online at

Saturday, November 1, 2003

Evolving as a Coach (And as a Person) Part 3-Causing Problems  

Welcome to the third installment of our series on exploring the Masterful Coaching pathway. If you've been following along, each week we've been delving into the different levels of a coach's evolution.

Masterful coaches CAUSE problems and then respond to the occurring dynamics in the client and themselves. Join us this week as we explore the idea of revealing the hidden truth and how that process can cause BIG problems for your client (in a good way of course).

Got a comment or question? Contact us at

Keep playing,



Causing BIG Problems for Your Client by Revealing the Hidden Truth

Evolving into a masterful coach begins with the pursuit of the question: "What is really going on here?" For me, this evolution had three stages: revealing the hidden truth, recognizing the conflicting intention, and finally resolving the core dynamic.

My experience has been that most people play "just small enough" in life to avoid a hidden truth. They settle into a life that is sheltered and a bit too comfortable. It's like having a covered walkway to your car: sure you never have to worry about getting wet, but you miss the exhilaration of occasionally having to run through the rain.

Here are a few real world examples of what I mean by causing problems:

  • The client is inspired to take on a project that would bring about incredible growth and potential financial rewards but it would call forth more creativity from her than she has ever been willing to express
  • Not making progress on a project--there is something much more profound that the client wants to do. However, this hidden project comes from a long-held and deep-seated desire buried by a lifetime of disappointment.
  • Seeing and facing a blatant but uncomfortable truth about a relationship - the client loves this person, yet knows that staying with him means denying a part of herself or her purpose in life.
  • Seeing and facing the truth about a job - The client is comfortable and the money is good enough to pay the bills, but he know that he's only using a small fraction of his talents and gifts

This "causes" a big problem. The focus of coaching becomes all about getting the stuck client out of the familiar pattern of settling--settling for anything less than the full sweetness of what life has to offer. I define settling as anything less than bold self-expression, wild creativity, and profound relatedness.

Ultimately, Blind Spots are the Reason Coaching Exists

All the situations above have some common threads. First, there is some truth that is being overlooked, ignored or denied. It has become a blind spot. Secondly, the situations reveal a fundamental truth about life itself: you can not effectively watch yourself do something.

From a practical point of view, the best way to improve your performance at anything (like playing tennis or running a business) is to have a skilled person watch you, tell you what they see, and then help you improve. If the person is experienced at watching and sharing, they are called a coach.

In our desire to live a fully expressed life, having a coach is very useful because we have blind spots in our perception of ourselves. Most often, we are blind to our own truths and inner conflicts (and our talents and possibilities, too). One of my favorite realizations about being a coach is this: it is a LOT EASIER to see another person's truths, inner conflicts, and talents than it is to see your own!

Working Around the Truth Versus Handling the Truth

I often think about that scene from "A Few Good Men" when Jack Nicholson is on the stand in a military courtroom being cross examined by Tom Cruise. Jack is getting angry about the line of questioning and asks intensely, "What do you want from me?" Tom shouts, "I want the truth!" and Jack shouts back, "You can't handle the truth!" It is a powerful moment in film and speaks to our conditioned resistance to seeing and facing the truth about things in our lives.

Why is it so difficult to "handle the truth" for the client and the coach? I love this quote from Author Peter Senge (from the introduction to the book "Synchronicity" by Joe Jaworski):

"Most of us aren't very good at perceiving reality as it is. Most of what we "see" is shaped by our impressions, our history, our baggage, our preconceptions. We can't see people as they really are because we're too busy reacting to our own internal experiences of what they evoke in us, so we rarely actually relate to reality. We mostly relate to internal remembrances of our own history, stimulated and evoked by whatever is externally before us . . . 

If we could only see reality more as it is, it would become obvious what we need to do. We wouldn't be acting out of our own histories, or our own needs, or our own purely reactive interpretations. We would see what is needed in the moment. We would do exactly what's required of us, right now, right here. This is … living one's life by "participating in the unfolding". You can't do that unless you can actually see what is right before you."

An Example…

In an earlier part of the series, I spoke about the woman who had the opportunity to create a lucrative strategic alliance but week after week didn't make the call because she didn't have time. As a problem solving coach, I would help her work around the truth (or inner conflict) by having her do a time log of her activities and then we could see that she really did have time to make the call.

As a masterful coach I would realize that the goal of the strategic alliance had created a BIG problem for her. Then we would begin to explore her thoughts and feelings in search of her truth and possibly the inner conflicts she has about this alliance. She may have doubts about her ability to deliver. She may be worried that it would really take off and become consuming, thus taking time away from her family responsibilities.

There can be any number of big problems that show up. With the right perspective and an environment of openness, it is possible to pinpoint exactly what the problem is. Realize that your ability to help the client handle the truth is only limited by your own ability to face the truths of your own life.

The big question is: when you find the truth, what do you do with it? Good question. In coaching proficiency 13, "Relishes Truth", we suggest that it is often best to do nothing with the truth. Just let it sit there for a while and see what the basic awareness will create.

However, if you want to work on the truth, examining the client's conditioning is a powerful access point. The pervasive tendency to avoid seeing reality and the limited ability to respond to the moment is caused by conditioning from the past. Conditioning leads to limiting beliefs and restrictive patterns of thought. We call these patterns of thought "the core dynamics of common problems".

While traditional coaching practice included sticking to the present and the future, this amazing new coaching approach involves exploring conditioning and its effects. While traditional coaching dealt with action plans and accountability structures to try to work around the truth, this approach suggests handling the truth by feeling things fully and waiting for clarity.

Next issue . . . the effect of conflicting intentions.

The Million Dollar Coach: Aim High

What will it take for you to earn $1,000,000 a year as a Coach?
Join us in New York on November 7 to find out! 

This engaging, one-day program, led by CoachVille's President, Dave Buck, will help you answer that question. Whether you are well into six figures in your annual coaching income, just starting out or simply wondering how to make a much better than average living as a coach, this program has the information and inspiration you need to get you where you want to be - a Masterful Coach making loads of money and impacting lots of people in a powerful fashion!

The design of this program offers an incredible learning opportunity.

Based on The 3 Masteries of the Professional Coach, you will learn...

Business Mastery

6 working models to help you create a million dollar coaching business.
The most effective marketing strategies used by highly successful coaches today.
How to create the revenue streams used by financially successful coaches.

In this Mastery segment, we will show you how to craft your personal vision for financial success using viable models, strategies and tools that others have applied to create thriving practices.

Self Mastery

What it will take for you to be worth one million dollars per year. 
How to get out of your own way around when it comes to earning big money and selling your services effectively. 
How to design your supportive and inspiring million-dollar environment (and leave your action plan behind).

In this Mastery segment, we will show you innovative ways to design your own million-dollar environment, which include leaving your self-limiting beliefs behind.

Coaching Mastery

How to use a coaching plan to create a compelling future for your clients.
How the core dynamics of common problems are revolutionizing what it means to be a coach.
Why Environmental Design is the coaching proficiency of the future.

In this Mastery segment, we will show you how to design not only your own dynamic coaching plan but your total personal and professional environment, which will result in you bringing in more revenue than you ever dreamed possible.

The delivery of this program is unique and interactive

What better place than New York City to premier this totally new, highly interactive, one-day Million Dollar Coach program? This powerful one-day event, which will be held on Friday, November 7 at the Southgate Towers in mid-town Manhattan, will be part information sharing, part workshop, part networking and part R&D. 

As one of the select number of attendees, you will also get the opportunity to join CoachVille's new Leadership team for a special luncheon. Come for the networking opportunities that will abound and meet me and other members of the team. If you do join us, you will be among the first to hear about CoachVille's exciting new initiatives for 2004 and learn how they will help you become a masterful, Million Dollar Coach!

We are offering this one time only, one-day event for only $119. This includes lunch with the new CoachVille Leadership Team. Don't miss the opportunity to learn The 3 Masteries of the Professional Coach and find out how to create the perfect environment that will pull you towards your first $1,000,000!

To register, simply click here, or, visit and search under "class" number 2185. 
Then, just find the New York event, click "register me" and you'll be all set. 

For more information, please visit: