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Monday, April 15, 2002

 

At the request of some of you, I'm returning to the favored top ten format today, on the topic of how to "get a life, not just a lifestyle."  Thanks for your feedback, I'm glad you asked!

The top ten I've selected is excerpted from the Attraction Program, and is again a very practical list that I'm sure you can use with your coaching clients this week.  If you find it particularly useful, you may wish to consider purchasing licensing rights to the program.  Full details are at the end of the issue.  (And remember, licensing for this and half a dozen other client programs like it, are included in the tuition for the Graduate School of Coaching, details to the left.)

Your feedback and suggestions for how to make Today's Coach more useful are always welcome!  I look forward to hearing more from you...

Happy Reading,

Andrea Lee
GM, CoachVille
 

   
 

1. Understand that there is difference between living life and having a lifestyle.

There's an ad for a financial services firm that goes like this: "Are you working for a living or are you working for a life?" I'll change it a bit to read: "Are you working for a lifestyle or are you living your life?" Life and lifestyle are both synonymous and mutually exclusive, depending on how you look at this. The key question to ask yourself is "How much of my life is being consumed by my lifestyle?"

2. Start learning about different ways of living.

I am shocked sometimes by how few options people feel that they have, or how they've rarely considered how they might life their life differently. So, look around and notice who has a life (or even a lifestyle!) that you find intriguing. Then, have lunch with this person and ask them lots of questions about how they live, what's important to them, how have they changed their life or lifestyle significantly and what other changes they may want to make.

3. Identify what about your life isn't really you at all.

We're all products of our culture and our environment, peer pressure and group norms, of advertising and the desire to get ahead, and so forth. Few of us really examine who we are; it's often easier to live a role or have the right car. It's safe to say that most people haven't really chosen their lives; they've only chosen their lifestyle -- or perhaps, a lifestyle has chosen them. Break the cycle by working with a coach who can help you identify what about yourself and about life is most fundamentally most important to you.

4. Identify what is natural for you, even if not normal for others.

Of the 200+ countries in our world, Americans are thought to be the most individualist of all cultures. We tend to do what we want and to heck with what others think. (Well, compared to your average Brit, anyway.) The trend of 'doing your own thing' continues and it's accelerating. At one point, let's say in the 60's, doing your own thing was as much as doing the opposite of convention as it was doing something of your own design. But we have gotten better and better at this skill set and the entrepreneur movement in America is one piece of evidence. Today, we have the tools and the technology to afford to do our own thing professionally. Creativity and freedom are held in high regard and normalcy is often scoffed at. You now do have the societal and cultural freedom (even more than you may realize) to discover and orient around what is natural for you, because normal isn't natural for many. Now, just give yourself this freedom.

5. Lifestyles are expensive to support and prevent you from evolving.

If you're living paycheck to paycheck and supporting your lifestyle more than saving money, your lifestyle is too expensive. You're trapped in it; you must keep working in the job you have, in order to afford your lifestyle. I'm not knocking lifestyle. I'm just pointing out that as long as you feel the pull to fund a lifestyle and you can't afford to stop working, your rate of development/evolution will be much slower than it could be. Rapid personal development occurs when you have the time, space and reserves to afford to experiment with new ways of thinking, working and living. If you're living wonderfully, yet close to the edge, you can't really afford to progress in some very important ways, and you probably won't be attractive. A lifestyle is generally seductive; a person is attractive. Take your pick. (Note: If you have plenty of reserves, enjoy your lifestyle completely! But if not, simplify.)

6. Identify who gives you life, and who are merely players in your lifestyle.

One's lifestyle has a theatrical element to it. Everything from valet parkers to tailors, housekeepers to architects, and Starbucks to Lutece. Again, I'm not knocking wonderfully rich lifestyles at all! I'm just suggesting that you identify who it is who adds joy and energy to your life vs who merely supports, entertains or assists you.

7. Downsize, rightsize or even toss out your current lifestyle, just for the shock of it.

Most of my clients refuse to downsize their lifestyle until they experience a crisis of money, divorce or health problems. Oh well. I've given up pestering them, but I am also not surprised when I see them struggling to become more attractive. They can't figure out why it's not working as easily as advertised. The primary reason? They are unwilling to give up some of the trappings they have. To them, downsizing their lifestyle means to go the Caribbean instead of to Australia, business class instead of first class, an Infiniti instead of a Lexus. Again, I'm not knocking luxury; I live luxuriously. But my lifestyle is optional (meaning it's fun, it's not my identity) and it's something that I'd immediately downscale at any sign of financial concern. I don't suggest that my clients become monks and go ascetic; but if their lifestyle is constricting their ability to be themselves, they've got a problem.

8. Spend an hour and write down what an ideal life for you would look like.

Have you ever written down the people, objects, work, feelings and home which would comprise your ideal life? Why not put on some tea or coffee right now, sit in a comfy place and start writing it out?

9. Get to know what your values are.

Values are those things in life which we find ourselves naturally drawn to and even desire to express. Beauty, Peace, Creativity, Discovery and Harmony are examples of values.

10. Stop striving, acquiring, pushing yourself.

If you 'gave up' right now (meaning checking out of the rat race/lifestyle race), how would your life be better? How would it be different? What's the worst that could happen? What would you lose that's not replaceable? How would you change as a person? How would you spend your time? What path might you start down that's very different from the one you're on now? What goals would you let go? How would you motivate yourself? Would you even need to? These are the questions worth asking.

To view all 28 Principles of Attraction, see below...


copyright 2002 by coachville.com. distribution encouraged with attribution intact. feel free to share this with your coach clients.

 

How to Become Irresistibly Attractive Attraction Program (Train the Coach Version)  TeleClass AND License
Led by Talane Miedaner

6 Tuesdays, May 7, 14, 21, (no class May 28), June 4, 11, 18, 2002, from 400-455 PM Eastern/NY.  Click here to Register now.

General fee: US$129     (CoachVille Members: US$99)     (Graduate School Members: $49)

Stop chasing after what you want!

Sounds like fun right? It is! Do you find yourself "working hard" (perhaps struggling would be a more accurate word) for the things you most want in life? When you learn and apply the principles of attraction, the things and circumstances you most want naturally come to you with grace and ease (very compelling to model as a coach!).

Step 1: Become Incredibly Selfish
In this rich, dialogue-based program you will learn why "becoming incredibly selfish" is the counter-intuitive first step to becoming attractive. You'll learn to "unhook yourself from the future", "develop more character than you need" (you'll love the 100 point Class Act! Program), and why it may be time to "get a fulfilling life, not just an impressive lifestyle".

Developed by coaches for coaches
The 28 principles of Irresistible Attraction - initially developed by Thomas Leonard with around 200 coaching colleagues in 1997 - are fundamental to the practice of coaching. This program will provide clearly-worded principles, distinctions and checklists that you can use for yourself and share with your clients.

Certification
Completing this program gives you a lifetime license to teach and package the Attraction program for your clients, in groups, TeleClasses, workshops or presentations.  For a full outline of licensing opportunities and guidelines, please visit http://www.teachinglicenses.com

Materials/Resources Included With Your Lifetime License:

PPT (PowerPoint file) with 45+ slides.
--You may modify the slides to include YOUR logo and contact info.
--You may add slides as you wish
--You may remove slides that don't fit for your presentation
--You may not change any of the slides that refer to the 28 principles or that refer to attribution/source/copyright.
--You may teach all 28 or just pick the ones you like best and offer those.

PDF-printable handouts of all 28 principles and introductory slides.
--These are exact duplicates of the slides in the PowerPoint Presentation, so if you don't have
PowerPoint or a projector, you can print out and pass out the PDF version to your participants.

Dozens of Top Ten Lists, worksheets, assessments, tips and other resources to help you present, market and attract the audience you want to reach...

Tuition for this 6 week TeleClass is $99 for CoachVille members, $49 for GSC members and $129 for the public. Enrollment is limited to 40 students in this live offering that will be taped for RealAudio purposes.

6 Tuesdays, May 7, 14, 21, (no class May 28), June 4, 11, 18, 2002,
from 400-455 PM Eastern/NY. 
Click here to Register now.

The 28 Principles of Irresistible Attraction that will be covered in this class are also the subject of The Portable Coach by Thomas J. Leonard. Although it will be helpful, the book is not a requirement for the course. Here are the 28 principles for your reference...

1. BECOME INCREDIBLY SELFISH.
WITHOUT YOU, THERE IS NOTHING, AND ATTRACTION ISN'T POSSIBLE.

2. UNHOOK YOURSELF FROM THE FUTURE.
ATTRACTION WORKS IN THE PRESENT, NOT IN THE FUTURE.

3. OVERRESPOND TO EVERY EVENT.
BY OVER-RESPONDING INSTEAD OF OVERREACTING, YOU EVOLVE, WHICH IS VERY ATTRACTIVE.

4. BUILD A SUPERRESERVE IN EVERY AREA.
HAVING ENOUGH IS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BE IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE.

5. ADD VALUE JUST FOR THE JOY OF IT.
WHEN YOU ADD VALUE BECAUSE YOU ENJOY IT, PEOPLE ARE NATURALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU.

6. AFFECT OTHERS PROFOUNDLY.
THE MORE YOU TOUCH OTHERS, THE MORE ATTRACTIVE YOU'LL BECOME.

7. MARKET YOUR TALENTS SHAMELESSLY.
IF YOU'RE EMBARRASSED ABOUT WHAT YOU DO WELL, YOU WON'T BE VERY ATTRACTIVE.

8. BECOME IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO YOURSELF.
HOW CAN YOU ATTRACT OTHERS IF YOU DON'T FEEL IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO YOURSELF?

9. GET A FULFILLING LIFE, NOT JUST AN IMPRESSIVE LIFESTYLE.
A GREAT LIFE IS ATTRACTIVE; A LIFESTYLE IS USUALLY SEDUCTIVE.

10. DELIVER TWICE WHAT YOU PROMISE.
WHEN YOU CONSISTENTLY DELIVER MORE THAN WAS EXPECTED, NEW CUSTOMERS ARE DRAWN TO YOU.

11. CREATE A VACUUM WHICH PULLS YOU FORWARD.
BEING PULLED FORWARD IS ATTRACTIVE; PUSHING FORWARD IS NOT.

12. ELIMINATE DELAY.
TIME IS EXPENSIVE AND THUS IS VERY UNATTRACTIVE.

13. GET YOUR PERSONAL NEEDS MET, ONCE AND FOR ALL.
IF YOU HAVE UNMET NEEDS, YOU'LL ATTRACT OTHERS IN THE SAME POSITION.

14. THRIVE ON THE DETAILS.
SUBTLETIES, DETAILS AND NUANCES ARE MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN THE OBVIOUS.

15. TOLERATE NOTHING.
WHEN YOU PUT UP WITH SOMETHING, IT COSTS YOU. COSTS ARE EXPENSIVE AND THUS UNATTRACTIVE.

16. SHOW OTHERS HOW TO PLEASE YOU.
DON'T MAKE THEM GUESS.

17. ENDORSE YOUR WORST WEAKNESSES.
WHEN YOU CAN ACCEPT AND HONOR THE WORST PART OF YOURSELF, YOU ARE MORE ACCEPTING OF OTHERS.

18. SENSITIZE YOURSELF.
THE MORE YOU FEEL, THE MORE YOU'LL NOTICE AND RESPOND TO THE MANY OPPORTUNITIES IN THE PRESENT.

19. PERFECT YOUR ENVIRONMENT.
THE ATTRACTION OS IS A SOPHISTICATED SYSTEM WHICH REQUIRES A FIRST-CLASS ENVIRONMENT.

20. DEVELOP MORE CHARACTER THAN YOU NEED.
INTEGRITY IS NOT ENOUGH TO BECOME IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE.

21. SEE HOW PERFECT THE PRESENT REALLY IS.
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS CLEARLY NOT.

22. BECOME UNCONDITIONALLY CONSTRUCTIVE.
HIGH LEVELS OF RESPECT ARE VERY ATTRACTIVE.

23. ORIENT EXCLUSIVELY AROUND YOUR VALUES.
WHEN YOU SPEND YOUR DAYS DOING WHAT FULFILLS YOU, YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE.

24. SIMPLIFY EVERYTHING.
ABANDONING THE NON-ESSENTIALS LEAVES MORE ROOM FOR YOU TO ATTRACT.

25. MASTER YOUR CRAFT.
BEING THE BEST AT WHAT YOU DO IS THE EASIEST WAY TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL.

26. RECOGNIZE AND TELL THE TRUTH.
THE TRUTH IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE THING OF ALL, BUT IT REQUIRES SKILLS AND AWARENESS.

27. HAVE A VISION.
WHEN YOU CAN SEE WHAT'S COMING, YOU DON'T NEED TO CREATE A FUTURE.

28. BE MORE HUMAN.
WHEN YOU ARE GENUINE, YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE.

How to Become Irresistibly Attractive Attraction Program (Train the Coach Version)  TeleClass AND License, Led by Talane Miedaner

6 Tuesdays, May 7, 14, 21, (no class May 28), June 4, 11, 18, 2002,
from 400-455 PM Eastern/NY. 
Click here to Register now.

General fee: US$129     (CoachVille Members: US$99)     (Graduate School Members: $49)

Not yet a CoachVille or GSC member? Qualify for discounted tuition for the above and other Client Programs by joining now.
 

BECOME A
COACHVILLE MEMBER



ONLY US$79 FOR A
LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP
 
BECOME A
GSC MEMBER

ONLY US $895
UNTIL MAY 1, 2002

copyright 2002 by coachville.com. no duplication without attribution.